People abroad is a space in this blog featured to those people who decide to leave the comfort zone, even just for a few months, to go abroad and make the best of life. After Francesca’s experience, an Erasmus in Cardiff, we are going to talk about Valentina who did a beautiful and significant experience: Au Pair in America. First of all, we are going to talk about how this experience came out and what she needed to do to become an au pair in America. Secondly, pro and con of working as an Au Pair abroad and in conclusion, some advice for those who are thinking to do the same experience.
Valentina experience as au pair in america
Falling in Love with the idea of going to America
I grew up in Italy in the 90s’ when the tv was full of american teenage tv programs. For some reason me and my friends always found the idea of having a locker at school fascinating. I think I was at the beginning of middle school when I started to tell my parents that one day I was going to go to America.
My first opportunity came up when I was 17 years old. The son of my father’s boss just came back from the US after completing a year in high school. I talked about it with my parents, I knew I was asking for an enormous sacrifice from them. Afterwards I talked to my best friend. We were sharing the same “going to America” obsession and we thought that doing that experience together would have been great.
Long story short, we had to go through an interview that I didn’t pass so my opportunity vanished just like that. In a way I’m happy it happened. I’ve never been a great student and the american school program is completely different to the italian one. Teachers tended to give a very hard time to students that just came back from a year abroad. I am a true believer that for as much as you want something, if it’s not the right time it’s not going to happen.
A second opportunity: Au Pair in America
Fast forward to when I turned 23 years old. I finally finished my studies, completely clueless with what my future was going to be. America was always on the back of my head. I didn’t feel ready to actually grow up, become a nine to five worker, have my salary, pay rent and bills. I decided I wanted to take a sabbatical and try to do something that any of my friends had the balls to do. The smart thing to do ten years ago in Italy was studying as much as you could and than start with your career. Deciding to leave the country for something completely unrelated to that wasn’t that common.
So my dad came back from work one day telling me about the daughter of one of his work colleagues who is in Ireland for one year as an Au Pair. Before I started looking it up online I had no idea what an Au Pair was. After doing some research on the role of the Au Pair, I decided that it was the perfect way to take time off from my life in Italy. I decided to have a look at the agency that my dad suggested. I started screaming of joy when I found out they covered America as well. The agency was based in California so most of the families using this agency were from that state.
Before leaving for America, paperwork and other
When the agency called me for the firs interview I never felt more excited. After the interview I had a good feeling. By the time I got home I already had an email saying that my interview was successful and I was going to receive all the paperwork by the end of the week. The envelope was one of those big and heavy ones. I call it the envelope of success: the big envelope! It looked like a never ending amount of questions, it took me a couple of days to go through it properly.
After a couple of months the agency contacts me again saying that there is a couple of families interested in my profile and would like to arrange a skype interview. I’m not a bubbly, talkative person at the beginning. I’m not the person that people like from the beginning. But I wanted to give my best for those interviews.
I was in my parents kitchen during the first call. The skype sound started to go off because there was an incoming video call. I was petrified and that first “Hello” came out so shaky that it sounded like I was about to cry. And than the rest of the words came out like a waterfall.
The conversation that I had with Linda and Alex (the parents) was so pleasant. I didn’t even realized it’s been more than one hour long. The moment I hung up I knew. That was going to be my family for the upcoming year.
Leaving the comfort zone
I couldn’t believe it was going to happen. I was about to go to America. The whole process was a bit expensive but if it was worth every penny. Months went by unexpectedly quick. Six months from my interview with Linda and Alex passed and it was time for me to start probably the best adventure of my life.
As a real italian family, everyone had to come to the airport to say goodbye. Seeing the proud face of my dad it’s something that made me feel proud of how far I’ve been able to arrive. My mum was crying as I was departing to go to war. My brothers couldn’t wait to have to split the space in our bedroom between two people instead of three. I just couldn’t wait to get on the first plane. I had a travel companion, Valentina, who I’m still in contact with after almost ten years. And this is the best thing that this experience can give you: friendships that are going to last a life time.
After almost 12 hours in the air we finally landed in San Francisco. I was so excited and tired at the same time. The first few days were basically orientation. We stayed in a hotel, myself, Valentina and four more girls. And yes, I’m still in touch with all of them. We had first aid training and the first impact with the American culture. Everything is much bigger, the idea of distance was different. People in California were extremely friendly especially when they knew what I was there for. I was somewhere completely new but I was feeling like I was in the right place.
Au Pair in America: the first impact
After the first few days of adaptation was time for all of us to go our families. My family was wealthy. I had a stranger that took me on a thirty minutes ride in a limousine. I had a bit of that “family feeling missing” from the very first time you meeting the people you’re going to spend the next year with. The moment I arrived at the house I was speechless. It was probably the biggest one I’ve ever seen. After I stepped through the door my real journey began. It hasn’t been an easy one, I’d be lying if I said so.
Homesick and lostness when you are abroad
I never felt homesick before. There were a lot of tears at the beginning. I was so eager to explore that I couldn’t imagine feeling like that. The time difference with Italy was nine hours. Me and my family were skyping when they were about to go to sleep and I was about to have lunch. I had moments where I was feeling lost and frustrated. Especially because at the beginning I didn’t have any friends it was just hard. There is no other way to describe it.
The bad days seemed to be extremely long and I had so many times where I just wanted to go home. I had to reset my brain and start from the top. I found new friends to hang out with when I had time off instead of just staying at home. I started dating a guy and his family welcomed me from day one. And after I found new friends and a family that could understand me and support me than everything changed. I really started to enjoy my experience.
And then…
Being an AuPair was really just a job, not my whole life. And although I was living in the house, I had the freedom of going wherever I wanted as long as I didn’t need to work. So I started to meet my friends for coffee, going out for dinner, or having a night out in a club. I decided I wasn’t going to let a bumpy start ruining a dream that I had since before I can remember.
Those 10 months after my brain reset are full of so many good memories and I’ll treasure them forever. Say yes to as many experiences you can. I was lucky enough to have my own car so road trips with my girls where pretty frequent. In America there are so many places to see, not as famous as New York or Los Angeles but a thousand times more beautiful.
Au Pair in America: experience highly recommended
An advice that I would give to myself before I boarded that plane ten years ago is “Just enjoy” because this is a one in a lifetime experience. It helped me grow up and understand that the limits that I was giving myself where really just in my head, I could do so much more. Try to get in contact with as many people as possible. Home and friends will be very far and you’ll need a surrogate family and as many new friends as possible you’ll be able to rely on.
After I came back, apart from gaining 15 kilos thanks to the American diet, I felt deeply changed. At 23 years old, while all my friends were still living with their parents and pretending to attend university lectures, I packed my stuff and travel all the way to the other side of the world and literally followed my dream. So just do it. Pack your stuff and go. Explore. Learn something new, not just about all the new places you’re going to be privileged to see. Most and foremost about yourself.
Valentina youtube channel
Valentina instagram
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